The stress is bringing me down. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to get things off of my #plate.

I need an assistant…



“A little concoction to #quench your thirst, my beauty?”

“I prefer ‘slake,’ James,” she purred in response. “That word has so many more…possibilities…”



Today, I borrow from the great Tom Lehrer:

“Oh, soon we’ll be out amid the cold world’s strife Soon we’ll be sliding down the #razor blade of life”

“Bright College Days,” 1959



“Fancy #spaceship you have here, guv!” he jokingly said to the man in the silver suit.

“I prefer to call it a #starship – it will travel amongst the stars!”

Even though he was drunk, Eamon knew how unlikely that would be.

He smiled and said, “Do you need a drink?”



He had dreams of happily ever after. Alas, he would never be more than a #thorn in her side.

You have to admire his persistence…



A quiet morning in a war-torn city. People going about their business as best they can. Their lives, and the course of history, are about to change forever.

Look #up…



The strike was quick and painless. I barely knew I had been hit.

The #venom moved quickly from my neck to my heart, and then throughout my body. I had no time to say goodbye.



He is a peaceful man, sleepy in appearance. Then, the music starts.

Surprise is his #weapon of choice.

(One of the top ten music videos ever made)



Never meet a wave head on – avoid it.

Many people think that to #yield is to show weakness. Consider the water meeting the rock in the river. The water avoids confrontation, but ultimately wears the rock down, vanquishing it.

Weakness can be strength.



A drink on the patio. The laughter of good friends. The #aria of a soprano wafts toward me in the summer evening air.

If this isn’t heaven, I’m certainly looking forward to it.



The tolling of the church #bell let everyone know that it was time. The long-awaited day was here.

So rude of reality to shatter the illusion.



“What’s your record about?”

“It’s about how we build a #cage around ourselves for protection, and how we get out of it when it becomes too constricting.”

“How do you get out?”

“If I told you, you wouldn’t listen.”



“I can get those by the #dozen.”

“That may be true, but can you use them effectively?”



“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the #east, and Juliet is the sun.”

Bobby looked at him quizzically. “I know they name stars, but I’m pretty sure that one isn’t named ‘Juliet’.”

“It is when you have enough money, buddy.”



When I first flew to the East Coast, I looked out the window on final approach to Atlanta and saw entire neighborhoods without one #fence. I was confused.

I thought to myself, “Don’t these people have dogs?”



The hopeful and the forceful portray the world as black and white, good and evil. The analysis invariably falls flat.

Complex beings are we, defined by shades of #grey.



The screeching head came through on all channels, bellowing the message of hate and distrust. The population was watched by armed vigilantes, ensuring compliance. Bow down before the one you serve…

Head like a #hole…



“I heard there is a workshop that just opened in town where strange sounds emanate. And there’s always a red glow coming from the windows!”

“Interesting. What’s it called?”

“#Idle Hands.”



My back is sore. I’m tired. I really want to regain fitness, but I can start tomorrow.

The #journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.



“Aye! Look yonder! A #kelpie, or my name isn’t Ewan!!”

Bronson put down his rod and reel. “Maybe lay off the spicy haggis before bedtime, mate…”



“I’m #large and in charge!!!” bellowed the professional wrestler.

“Well, today you’re substituting in a pre-school. You might want to try something else.”



“There have been a lot of scary prompts about #monsters lately.”

“Yes. I fear for her dreams.”

“Nah. She’s probably dreaming about lush green fields…”



“Oh, man, here she comes again!”

“I know dude. Hide!”

No luck. “Hi Eddie! I made you a necklace of onions and petunias!”

“Get the #net!”



The room was dark and silent. None of them had a flashlight, or even a cell phone. All they could go on was a distinct #odor of rotting flesh.

Suddenly, the window blind flapped open. Their worst fears were confirmed.



“This is the greatest invention since sliced bread!!”

“Can I have a #peek behind the curtain,” the little boy said.

The huckster answered in a low voice. “Go get your parents, kid. Tell them to bring money.”



“You spend a lot of time reciting #quotes from others. Don’t you have any original thoughts?”

“Yes, I do,” he replied. “No one understands them. I give them something to relate to.”

“Try me.”

“OK – the ripe persimmon spreads its seeds in the parking lot.”




The nascent writer sat at the desk, pen in hand.

“#Remember #remember the twenty-seventh of August…”

More volume in the litter bin…



Perfect grammar is not always necessary.

I has a #sad.



The King ascends to his #throne for the third time today. His body stiff, he falls forward as he dies.

His handlers find him there, in his final position, gone well before his time.



The successful pop songwriter “borrows” from that which came before, so the song sounds familiar in a subconscious way, but has some special elements.

Do you really want to hear something #unique?



As time went on, the fire chief could no longer scale a ladder, due to an advancing case of #vertigo.

Likely caused by increased focus on a certain area.