09/01

Here’s a quick age test for you:

Point at the hands of a #clock and tell me what time it is.

#vss365

09/02

The accident was a tremendous #shock to the system. Most people would learn from it.

Carl wasn’t most people.

#vss365

09/03

The movie “Blazing Saddles” was made to be offensive, and it seems to get more offensive as time goes by.

Proof? One of the first lines…

“#Dock that ***** a day’s pay for nappin’ on the job.”

#vss365

09/04

The world has changed quite a bit in the the last twenty years. Popular attitudes have advanced past your caveman ways.

What, have you been living under a #rock?

Don’t answer that…

#vss365

09/05

One of the more dismissive comments on the athletic field is, “He couldn’t carry my #jock.”

Usually uttered by someone about to be passed.

#vss365

09/06

“All they want to do is #lock us in our homes and destroy our economy!!”

If that were the case, why wait until now?

#vss365

09/07

There are those who seem to live to #mock others, especially those who appear weak. More often than not, they are projecting their own insecurities onto you.

Tell them where to stick it.

#vss365

09/08

The pilot caught a glimpse of the wind #sock as he staged for takeoff. The poor thing was barely attached to its pole.

“This is going to be interesting,” he thought to himself.

#vss365

09/09

It all changed in the 1960s. The songs of #war turned to criticism.

It’s as if all of the lies were exposed on a twelve-inch screen.

#vss365

09/10

Saturday was always the day. Get dressed to impress, pile your friends into the car and go to the mall. The #stores were waiting for you.

But this is no longer 1982…

#vss365

09/11

We never go to the #shore any more. It all changed that October day when we found a briefcase washed up on the beach.

He was an insurance company executive. Files from September. A diamond ring for his intended.

Never to be.

#vss365

09/12

What do you do when you disagree with the powers that be?

Some rebel, and get mowed down.

I know the #score. Keep your mouth shut and wait for your opportunity.

#vss365

09/13

Everyone ascribed their music to the effect of drugs. The fact was that they were many years ahead of their time, and the world was not ready.

Step through the #Doors of perception…

#vss365

09/14

A tale of suburban San Francisco #lore involves a monster that emerges from the fog to destroy random distributor caps so that people are late for work.

Just kidding – the fog does that all by itself…

#vss365

09/15

It’s always been interesting to me to observe the changes in community standards over the years. What was #gore at one time is family viewing nowadays.

The toothpaste can never be put back in the tube.

#vss365

09/16

People think of me as some sort of #glib, unserious joker.

Those are only some of my qualities.

#vss365

09/17

The astronauts #alight from their capsule with trepidation. “One small step for man,” indeed.

#vss365

(BTW, my money is on “alit”)

09/18

The life of a bug lasts only for a summer. Flitting from place to place, until they go #splat on the windscreen. A terrible end for such an ambiitious creature.

#vss365

09/19

Skipped

09/20

The goal was always #venture capital.

When it was attained, it turned out to be a Faustian bargain.

Others get rich – you never do.

#vss365

09/21

We reach for the stars, but watch others struggle and die. Why are these #contemporaneous events?

#vss365

09/22

She read a passage from her book #aloud at the signing event. The crowd was appreciative, and it surely resulted in more sales.

As she gathered her things later, she confided, “That was probably the worst performance ever!”

Everyone is their own worst critic.

#vss365

09/23

“The suspect is known to #carve his initials into the right thigh of his victims.”

No one noticed the grisly nature of that statement in the forensic autopsy.

“Oh, no…”

“What’s wrong, doctor?”

“These initials are different.”

#vss365

09/24

“What will it take to #expedite my crossing?”

“Two toes and a kidney.”

“Excellent! The price has gone down!”

#vss365

09/25

“We are down substantially from the #prior week’s receipts. Do you have an explanation?”

“Zombie apocalypse?”

#vss365

09/26

“He is nothing if not #brash and cocky.”

“Do you think that’s the proper temperament for a priest?”

“For Judas Priest, absolutely.”

#vss365

09/27

“You seem to #fret about everything.”

“As a guitar player, it’s kinda hard not to.”

#vss365

09/28

Jerome rode up to his fallen comrade. She was unconscious. A #rivulet of blood trickled from her right ear.

Jerome knew there was nothing he could do. He held his friend’s hand as she passed.

#vss365

09/29

Oh, to be a rock star. I’d call myself Elvis Codstello.

My #aim is less than true.

#vss365

09/30

As the seasons change and the evenings get shorter, we have to deal with our #crepuscular hopping firends when putting out the garbage.

We have one living in our garage now…

#vss365