09/01

The ravine was replete with many #archaeological treasures. Then, the machines of expediency arrived, tearing the bounty asunder for a short-term advantage in a meaningless conflict.

The lessons of history are lost, trampled by those who do not understand them.

#vss365

09/02

Always remember: everyone has a #multifarious personality. The side they show publicly could be quite different than the entire reality.

#vss365

09/03

The vice principal broke up the fight and turned to the young man who started it.

“Your #obstreperous manner will lead to your ruin.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

The vice principal smiled and said, “I’m gonna expel your ass!”

#vss365

09/04

They listened to the politician carefully. Finally, Sam snapped.

“I have no time for his #nudiustertian pronouncements.”

“Huh?”

“So much has changed since the day before yesterday. What he says now is hopelessly out of date.”

“Huh?”

#vss365

09/05

Dedication to an impossible dream often requires #jentacular intake of unusual substances.

Just ask Robert Balboa.

#vss365

09/06

Sam was always shy about taking off his t-shirt at the beach.

‘C’mon, man, no one will care.”

In a moment of weakness, he relented. All of the women marveled at his #ulotrichous chest.

“I just don’t want to make you guys jealous.”

#vss365

09/07

Full disclosure: I suffer from Impostor Syndrome. I am fearful that I will be found to be a fraud. As long as I can keep dancing, I’m relatively safe.

Now, #kakorrhaphiophobia would put me in such a shell that I wouldn’t come out.

I guess things can always be worse.

#vss365

09/08

The headline read, “#Erinaceous Actor Accused of Serial Abuse”

It grabbed people’s attention simply because they had to load Google to look up the word.

One look at him would suffice.

#vss365

09/09

The other kids always wondered why Jeffrey was so #pauciloquent. Being kids, they went right to the name-calling.

Belle took the effort to get to know Jeffrey. What she found amazed her.

Jeffrey was 538 years old, in a child’s body. He didn’t want to scare anyone.

#vss365

09/10

“I wish I could be like my dog.”

“You want to lay around all day and night?”

“Well, yes, but I envy their habit of #pandiculation. If I did that, maybe I could still tie my shoes.”

#vss365

09/11

“I will beat that scwewy #wabbit once and for all!”

Sure thing, Elmer. Take a seat next to Wile E.

#vss365

09/12

“How do you feel?”

Silence.

“What are you feeling right now?”

Sorrowful glance.

The barriers constructed by #alexithymia are frustrating. Fer all involved.

#vss365

09/13

“We shall travel #widdershins into the night.”

The others rolled their eyes.

“Can you just say we’re headed for New York?”

#vss365

09/14

How the mighty have fallen. He lay in the town square, #defenestrated and disgraced.

The people rejoiced in their newfound freedom.

#vss365

09/15

When I was in high school, I used to do this to people for French fries. Since it was a public school, we had no idea that the term for this was “#groke.”

The world is a circle…

#vss365

09/16

Awesome! A new word to confuse my wife with!

Lucy the #macrosmatic Beagle…

#vss365

09/17

The #biblioklept is the lowest form of thief. He is not just stealing an object – he is stealing ideas.

Perhaps time to bring back stoning…

#vss365

09/18

“Greetings to the new #chiliad!” the prophet shouted. The crowd was unimpressed.

One small voice came up.

“We don’t like people who use fancy language. Why not use the common term?”

The prophet slinked away to the next town, hoping for a less enlightened gathering.

#vss365

09/19

The procession of the seasons is just an exchange of a #meldrop and a sweat bead between the hemispheres.

Think about that for a moment.

#vss365

09/20

“Grab the trinkets – we’ll meet behind the store and #absquatulate.”

“Why talk so funny, boss?”

“Dress like a pirate, talk like a pirate!”

“That was yesterday, boss…”

#vss365

09/21

The word has been received to those who need to hear it. One too many #colporteurs have had the door slammed in their faces.

We now have peace in the household.

#vss365

09/22

The road to Hana is many things. Meandering, dangerous, wonderous, #anfractuous.

Always allow an entire day.

#vss365

09/23

“Every night the same thing, He sits alone at the back corner table with his back to the room.”

“Could it be #deipnophobia?” asked the server.

“Nah – he doesn’t want anyone to see us serve him roadkill.”

“Um…ew…”

#vss365

09/24

“You are a charlatan – a #barmecide!!” the crowd screamed.

“I’m sorry – I didn’t go to an Ivy League school. What do you mean?”

“LIAR!!”

Easily understood…

#vss365

09/25

The #finifugal author continues writing twists anf false finishes in a futile attempt to prolong his life’s work.

“Art is never finished, only abandoned.” – Leonardo da Vinci

#vss365

09/26

The Bell’s palsy has stolen my smile. I look as if I am always serious. It scares people.

But you can never accuse me of being #agelast…

#vss365

09/27

“Dude, don’t #xertz the 40 like that. You’ll pass out.”

His friend did not consider that Larry preferred being comatose.

#vss365

09/28

“And now his #abnegation is complete…”

“CUT!! REWRITE!! Stop ad-libbing from the thesaurus, James! Cue sound! And…action!”

#vss365

09/29

Rhonda was despondent. “I always dreamt of college as the guiding of brilliant young minds, not the babysitting of these #obstreperous athletes!”

“Maybe you should have majored in history instead of communications.”

#vss365

09/30

“Please enter your zip code and an #octothorpe.”

The IVR waited for a response, but it seems that everyone has to hit Google to understand, so no one ever finishes the prompts.

Poor customer service by thesaurus.

#vss365