01/01
Madeline Kahn was a treasure. If everyone could look so wonderful whilst being #verklempt…
#vss365
01/02
The popular image of a dinosaur is either a slow, plodding vegan or a huge, vicious predator with short arms.
Those of us who like Formula 1 racing are partial to the #velociraptor – the sleek, fast, and cunning type.
#vss365
01/03
The forest in Venezuela is teeming with #vampire bats. The American adventurers walk cautiously.
Their guides smile quietly because they know that the bats only feed in complete darkness. Their smiles fade at sunset.
#vss365
01/04
We spend most of our lives in competition with each other. Survival of the fittest and everything.
The only creatures that win in the end are the #vultures.
#vss365
01/05
The six-year-old was on a foul mood. “I am #vexed and ratty!” he screamed.
“I beg your pardon?” his mother’s friend asked.
“Don’t worry about him, Martha. His dream is to be in the Derbyshire Light Infantry, and that’s how he thinks they talk.”
#vss365
01/06
“I want to watch something funny and uplifting tonight. What do you have like that?”
“V for #Vendetta.”
“Uplifting?”
“The story of people conquering opression.”
“You’re weird.”
#vss365
01/07
Why is it that those who would #violate other’s rights are the same people who complain that it is happening to them?
It all depends on whose ox is gored…
#vss365
01/08
“I have represented the population of the state in this #VennDiagram. You can see that the intersection in the middle represents ‘reasonable humans.'”
A hand went up in the audience. “I can’t see it, sir.”
“My point exactly.”
#vss365
01/09
“I’m not wearing pants…”
The anchorman was shocked that those words had come from his mouth. Turns out that his partner was practicing to be a #ventriloquist.
Easier than doctoring a teleprompter…
#vss365
01/10
“Love ’em and leave ’em” is her motto. Her attractiveness lets her get away with her special brand of emotional #vandalism.
What happens when the allure fades?
#vss365
01/11
The Viceroy addressed the gathered masses.
“The document is authentic – printed on #vellum and sealed by the King.”
Brian looked puzzled.
“Why would they care about a shopping list?”
#vss365
01/12
The commission of cosplay battle makes the participants look foolish. But it is not the most grievous injury committed.
It cheapens the millions of soldiers that came before who displayed true #valor in defense of ideals.
#vss365
01/13
As we grow older, we are reduced to living #vicariously though our more successful acquaintances.
We can only hope that they will return our phone calls.
#vss365
01/14
“You have the #vocabulary of a third-grader!”
Since I was reading Homer in third grade, I always looked at that as a compliment.
#vss365
01/15
The alien ship broadcast an ominous message. “You are ordered to #vacate this planet immediately!”
No one paid attention since there was no way to do that.
The next day, there was no one left to pay attention.
#vss365
01/16
He burned through life like a bull in a china shop. #Reflection and repentance were foreign concepts to him. Any expression of regret or loss was a sign of weakness, either by him or his allies.
Now he wonders why he is alone.
#vss365
01/17
“I will give you the #moon! The stars! All of the heavens will be yours!”
Remind me next time not to date a Shakespearian actor…
#vss365
01/18
There has never been a more appropriate name for a dog than my #Shadow.
As in, “Afraid of her own…”
#vss365
01/19
The #ego is like a dragon that lives on your front lawn.
If you feed it too much, it might step on your house.
#vss365
01/20
Propaganda is speaking true intentions through a #filter of assumptions.
It’s time to remove that appliance.
#vss365
01/21
He really thought it would be different this time. And for a while, it was.
However, he still cannot outrun the #stigma of the lonesome loser.
Will he – will I – ever mean anything to anyone?
#vss365
01/22
People get drunk on the transient #euphoria of temporary victory. They inevitably suffer the hangover of temporary defeat.
I prefer to remain sober in the halls of reality.
#vss365
01/23
I hear many people wishing that #telepathy was their superpower. What an advantage it would be to know someone’s thoughts.
You don’t want to know my thoughts…
#vss365
01/24
Another day, another news story, another fallen #idol.
Followers are left with the same question that is always faced:
“What now?”
#vss365
01/25
Again, I face the same question. #Jump?
This time, for sure…
#vss365
01/26
The first line of the greatest death scene in science fiction history.
“The ship…Out of #danger?”
#vss365
01/27
Question for the 21st century young folk:
Can you have #paradise by the dashboard light if there are only LEDs?
#vss365
01/28
“How could there be a more virulent #disease than what we have experienced over the last year?”
“Oh, but there is. Cowardice.”
#vss365
01/29
The rumors gained strength and credibility as the assigned date neared. Non-believers would be gathered up and exterminated.
You’d better #run…
#vss365
01/30
Sitting on the porch next to my wonderful space heater, I see an early #butterfly flit past. Its bright colors stand out against the field of snow on my front lawn.
No matter how difficult the circumstances, nature marches on…
#vss365
01/31
“My plan is to make them think I’m a #dope. We’ll see how easily they are led.”
We’re all stars now…
#vss365